thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
