I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It's rum buckets o'clock
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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