No more Irish car bombs ever.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
