No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
