Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
