I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize