I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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