Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
