1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
