I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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