You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think my moral compass just broke
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
