whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
