no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
