Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
