when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
