Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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