Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
