we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
