I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Duck Duck Cougar?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
