Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Randomize
