I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
