So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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