Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
