kristin has been a bad kristin
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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