thus making me awesome and them whores
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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