She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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