Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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