I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
