and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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