we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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