OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
