the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
We need to get me chipped asap
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
