bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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