The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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