She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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