Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
