do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
