Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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