i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize
