I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
