READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
