It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
