is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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