the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
