you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
