You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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