I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
