thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
