We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
