She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
