The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
