Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
