worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
