I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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