Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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