Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
