Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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